On Separation Anxiety

Some of the worst memories I have from bringing my two boys up are from leaving my youngest one in daycare. He would cry and cry, every single morning and the lump in my

stomach would not leave me until it was time to pick him up again. The daycare ladies would

always do their best to comfort me - and my little boy - to little avail. I knew he was fine there,

but it was as if the anxiety came from some primitive place in our hearts and reason fell short

with us both.

Having studied psychology, I now know that the suspicion of some primitive force at play was

true. It is of course the most natural thing in the world for a child of three to want to spend all

day with their mummy. Yet, I also know that if we deal with the feeling hands on, this phase in their lives will pass and do no damage (at least, not to the children). My son remembers

his daycare centre as a happy place that he always enjoyed going to and has no recollection

of his fingers turning blue as he shook the steel gate every time I left.

IF it is of any consolation, separation anxiety can actually be heightened when the family is really tight and "safe," which in itself is a great thing. But what can be done when you are in the middle of this emotional turmoil? Well, first of all, I would like to refer you to my previous post: worry stones. These can help a lot, especially if you give them magic powers. Say that the little stone in your child's pocket is magic and as long as they keep it there they will feel strong and powerful, nothing can hurt them. And mum and/or dad have their own, equally powerful which will ensure you all to be together again soon.

Another tip I have for you is this wonderful little bedside book: Owl Babies by Martin Waddell.

It is about three owl babies who endure the dark night in all its scariness, waiting for their

mummy to come back home. The illustrations by Patrick Benson are wonderful and the message is clear: MUMMY ALWAYS COMES HOME. This will soothe the mind of the most troubled little child, I promise.